If you're anything like me you feel like you have to ask your kids 5 times to do something and then you have to yell before anyone hears you. It is extremely frustrating and it only leads to more yelling, bad attitudes and hurt feelings. More times than I can count I've sat down after the kids are in bed and wondered what on earth happened to my day.
Yelling is 100% normal. All parents do it even if they don't admit it. Ok except for that one in a million parent who is a complete saint. The truth of the matter is its almost impossible not to yell at least once in a while. Yelling a lot in general isn't a great thing it is the words you are yelling that matter the most. Yelling at your kid to brush their teeth that is one thing. If you are yelling for them to brush their teeth and you're adding in a bunch of derogatory remarks and being mean than that is definitely not ok.
Yelling is an easy and often habitual reaction to chaos and loss of control with our children. Habits are very hard to break but there are other things we can do to try to calm the situation or just plain keep our cool. When the situation escalates you can....
1. Send your children outside to expend some energy while you get a break.
2. Put yourself in time out. Close yourself in your room and read a chapter in a book.
3. Whisper instead of yell. It wont be long before the kids quiet to hear what you are saying.
4. Sing super loud to your child's favorite song.
5. Crank the music up very loud in the house. This will immediately change the mood and the course of the day.
6. Instate a no yelling rule in the house for everyone at all times.
These are just a few no nonsense rules that actually work. My children and I are personal fans of number 5. We take a lot of long distance road trips. Usually we have at least 1 or 2 incidences on the ride where the kids get out of control. Every time I put all the windows down and crank the music as loud as it can go. Typically within 5 minutes they are either sound asleep or calm.
You are not a bad parent if you yell. Many days I feel like a failure and pray to God that I can raise my kids without ruining them. Just remember to keep your words in check never using put downs, insults or threats. Parenting is the hardest job on the planet. Take one day at a time and give yourself some credit.
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